Obama Sends Tough Message to Yemen

Washington, DC – In a move being hailed by Democrats, President Obama made a tough stand against Yemeni terrorist threats by holding a press conference.

“Make no mistake. I will continue to hold press conferences until the unpleasant elements in Yemen understand that I mean business,” President Obama read from his teleprompter.

“This is just the sort of leadership we need to protect us from the extremist religious elements we’re dealing with. Too bad Bush dropped bombs from 20,000 feet and terrorized women and children instead of holding manly press conferences like this,” said David Axelrod, the President’s political advisor.

“This sends a tough message to the Arab street. We have started calling it the Obama Doctrine,” Axelrod said.

In an attempt to verify the effectiveness of the Obama Doctrine, Vast Right Wing News conducted extensive phone surveys of Yemeni terrorists. 0.017% of terrorist respondents said that Obama’s policy would “somewhat affect” their decision to try to blow up American interests. While 57.9% responded that the President’s strategy made them “somewhat more likely” to shout curses directed at the president while conducting suicide bombing runs.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney, an outspoken critic of the Obama Doctrine, was troubled by the survey results.

“According to this excellent research from my favorite news source, we are flat-out doomed. I doubt this empty-headed dolt can even tie his own shoes,” Cheney said.

Axelrod and others were quick to jump to the President’s defense.

“Cheney is just bitter because the Bush Administration couldn’t hold good press conferences like this one – where our Dear Leader connected with the American people on an almost spiritual plane,” Axelrod said.

“Besides, extremist name-calling from right-wing fascist brown shirts like Cheney has no place in America today. He should be shipped off to the new gulag’s in New Mexico for saying dangerous things like this,” Axelrod said.